


For my eyes only

by innsaei



Category: Haikyuu!!, Iwaoi - Fandom
Genre: Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Hajime is whipped, M/M, Manifesting this to be canon, Post-Time Skip, pro Oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24659137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innsaei/pseuds/innsaei
Summary: Beneath the shades of blue, teal and white lies the raw but achingly beautiful Oikawa Tooru. And only Iwaizumi Hajime has the privilege of calling Tooru his.alt title:Hajime's glossary of Oikawa Tooru.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 10
Kudos: 141
Collections: Iwaoi fluff week 2020, iwaoi





	For my eyes only

_ i.Adamant  _

“I can do this alone”, the words escape through gritted teeth as Oikawa holds out his palm at Iwaizumi, signaling him to stop. Tears threaten to spill over as his face tightens up to form a miserable grimace yet he holds his ground not wanting Hajime anywhere near him. 

Iwaizumi watches in horror, clearly exasperated and terrified, unable to move from his place. Oikawa’s muscles are taut and he looks clearly exhausted and drained, his gaze dangerously focused and visibly strained.

“Tooru this is dangerous. You are going to hurt yourself”, he desperately pleads, knowing the disaster that is about to happen. This was happening for the fifteenth time that week and Iwaizumi could not bear to watch it anymore.

“HOW WILL I-” He is cut off by a sudden flurry of movement.

There is a burst of white powder and incessant bouts of coughing mixed with incoherent profanities escaping Tooru’s mouth. 

_ Sigh.  _

When the dust clears, Oikawa Tooru lies there, on the kitchen floor, covered from head to toe with flour. His miserable batter is splattered on the ground next to him.

Hajime thinks about leaving him then. For a split second, he turns towards the door, and then he turns around, fingers pressing his own forehead, exhaling and inhaling deeply.

_ I am in love with a colossal idiot.  _

Nevertheless, he kneels down and wipes away the flour from Tooru’s face when the brunette leans in and cheekily gives him a kiss. His fingers cup Hajime’s face and leave marks of flour on his cheek and the taste of cookie dough albeit with too much vanilla essence in his mouth.

Hajime can barely hide the smile threatening to break out and the tingling that spreads from his chest to his extremities.

It’s Tooru’s way of conceding defeat and that’s why Hajime never really wins.

ii. _Blemish_

The dark brown flecks in his eyes. The scar that decorates his right shoulder blade, one that he earned when he was seven while chasing dragonflies. The white knee brace, memoirs of times Hajime didn’t stop him when he should have, a reminder of the first time they fought because Hajime could not bear to watch Tooru allowing his own demons to take over. A small scar on his left wrist, was that from Argentina? The mark on his neck- that would be his work.

These brief transcripts of Oikawa’s history, engraved on his body, is Hajime’s favorite story. 

Shakespeare be damned.

iii. _Cocksure_

Iwaizumi watches as the audience chant Tooru’s name, flashing lights, name signs, and banners in the air. He enthralls the crowd, his movements are intriguing to them. They watch him in fascination, bated breath, their eyes following his every move. His play was enthralling, weaving a tapestry with every step. Tooru knows of the power he holds and Iwaizumi does too, aware of it every moment someone looks at him for a brief second before their eyes, as if pulled by some force, immediately shifts and fixates on the man beside him.

Earlier it was doubt and insecurity. Oikawa could have anyone, not just Hajime. So was he really enough for this enigma? 

But after the first time when Hajime slinked away, trying to merge into the shadow, Oikawa links their hands together and intertwines their fingers.

_ I’m yours. And yours only. _

iv. _Disarray_

Some days it’s his jersey thrown carelessly on the living room floor, his kit bag placed precariously on the edge of the sofa table. Other days, Tooru lies down on the floor, barely visible among the piles of strategy sheets he has drawn up. His face is always scrunched up, tired eyes resisting the sleep that threatens to drown him, his injured knee supported by the pillow.

Iwaizumi picks up the things and puts them back in places or he sits next to Oikawa and rubs his back, tracing circles. 

Sometimes you fix the mess, sometimes you let them be. 

_ Oikawa Tooru is a beautiful mess when it comes to the things he loves. _

v. _ethereal_

Oikawa always wakes up an hour earlier than Hajime, fretting about how he has very little time to take care of his hair. He tiptoes around, in his joggers, trying not to stub his toes in the dark. 

Every day it is a struggle for him to keep quiet, in a desperate attempt to not disturb Hajime and he fails every day. Not because he makes a sound but because when Hajime can no longer feel his warmth next to him, his eyes always open, his heartbeat beating a little too fast. He gets counted days in a year to have Oikawa by his side and Hajime would hold on to each nanosecond.

Tooru would always touch his face then, calming him down. The warmth of his hand seeping through, lightly caressing Hajime’s face. 

“I’m here. Right here”, he would whisper to the wide-eyed, disoriented Hajime. 

Then Oikawa would smile softly as Hajime relaxes, resting his chin on Tooru’s palm, his breathing easing back to normal. There is a brief moment of silence in the room and then their lips would meet.

A soft kiss, a firm reassurance. 

“You don’t have to wake up so early in the morning”, Hajime would mumble, “I like your hair, anyhow. Disheveled, sleep strewn, it doesn’t matter.”

Oikawa would laugh softly, his eyes soft and taking in Hajime’s frame. The sunlight always enters through a slit in the curtains behind him and when Hajime looks at Oikawa, he swears his heart always stills for a moment. 

_ Every morning. _

vi. _Familiarity_

Matsukawa and Hanamaki keep bickering over the menu when they could just order both and share. But Hajime doesn’t break them off. He knows this will go on for another ten minutes before they order the same thing they have ordered for eight years and call it a truce.

He glances at his side as the waitress approaches Oikawa. She beams at him, too brightly for Hajime’s liking, but he forces the annoyance away. Tooru smiles at her and orders for both of them.

_ Two plates of Kare Raisu and Yakitori.  _

Hajime smiles softly, his eyes trained at the man next to him. 

_ Twenty years. Of love and friendship. _

vii. _Gibberish_

Hajime whacks Kuroo on the head for ordering too many drinks but the man is far too drunk to register it. Kenma gives him a very subtle glare so he drops the case and backs off.

He watches as Tooru and Sugawara poke at the chicken piece, one cooing while the other one laughing hysterically.

He sighs to himself. 

“Iwa-channnnnnn”

Ah, there it comes. 

He barely has time to prepare himself when a heavy, lean muscled body flops on him. Oikawa reeks of alcohol and his perfume, which Hajime had gifted last month. Somewhere there is a slight scent of Hajime’s perfume and it seems natural to come from him. 

“ Shall we go home?”, he whispers into Oikawa’s ear, as the man lies there in his arms, oblivious to the surroundings. Not that anyone around them cared.

“ I muff vuh”, he replies back in his muffled voice, minutes away from passing out.

Hajime chuckles, “I love you too, Shittykawa”.

viii. _Halcyon_

“It is snowing here!”, Oikawa yells through the phone, visibly shivering as he rushes out of the building he was in. 

He flips the camera and shows Iwaizumi the falling snowflakes and the snow-covered road. The signboard was barely visible now, hidden deep within the snow.

“Why does the snow look so warm?”, Hajime asks before realizing in a brief second how funny he sounded. 

Tooru stops short, flipping the camera back to himself, his face contorted as he tries to stop himself from laughing.

“ I don’t know Hajime”, he is wheezing now, “----maybe because you are looking through your phone screen?”

He sounds incredulous and rightfully so.

But Hajime doesn’t feel embarrassed anymore. He knows why the snow looks so warm.

_ It was never about the snow. _

“I miss you Tooru”, he whispers into the phone wishing Argentina was not so far away and that distance was just a mere concept. 

A strangled voice comes from the other end. 

“You can’t suddenly say that when you know my resolve to stay here gets weak when it comes to you. IWACHAN!”

Hajime laughs in happiness laced with the insufferable need to hold the man he loves.

“Come home by the time snow falls here, okay?”

ix. _Indelible_

The first time. They had just crashed out of the National qualifiers. 

Hajime was standing outside the club room in silence, his feet rooted, unmoving. His heart was pounding and he desperately wished he had not heard the sounds. Muffled sounds of crying, a continuous sound of fist banging on the wall. He didn’t want to look inside but his hand somehow moved on its own, opening the door slightly.

Hajime would have the sight forever ingrained in his brain. The sight of Tooru crumbled on the floor, clutching his chest. A searing pain had shot up in his chest, an unbearable ache settling in as he walked towards Oikawa without thinking.

His fingers lifted Tooru’s chin up and he leaned in pressing a kiss on Oikawa’s forehead, an alien move for the first time that disrupted the space between them. Hajime will never forget the way the pair of teary eyes widened and then there was a deafening silence so loud that Hajime could almost hear his heartbeat threatening to break out of his ribcage, a stillness in the air. A pause in time when both of them were stuck between what was safe or choosing a place from where it would mean ride or die.

It was Oikawa who made the choice. His palm shakingly cupping Hajime’s face, he leaned in. His lips on Hajime’s forehead, a soft, ghostly kiss on his eyelids, tracing down his nose and finally the softest touch on his lips, hovering and hesitating for a second before he crashed it.

Hajime would never forget that touch. 

That touch, that feeling was to be Tooru’s forever.

x. _Juxtaposition_

Hajime will always hate being away from Oikawa for the entirety of existence.

“When do you leave for Argentina again?”

There is the sound of a teacup being placed on the table and then a pair of arms around his waist. Iwaizumi keeps his eyes trained on the boiling broth, afraid that if he looks up, his eyes would betray him.

Soft brown hair tickles his neck as Tooru rests his lips on the nape of his shoulder.

“Hajime, are you scared?”

_ Hajime knows what it is to be without Tooru. And he wishes he never did. _

“I will always come back to you, Iwachan”, he whispers, holding Hajime a little closer as if to prove his point.

xi. _Kaleidoscope_

Hajime once read a line by Jennifer Niven. He didn’t understand it then but he does now.

_ Oikawa Tooru is all the colours in one at full brightness. _

xii. _Leisure_

Weekends are Hajime’s favourite. He always wakes up earlier and for those two days that come for counted 24 weeks in a year, Tooru is there in his arms, eyes closed. 

“Do you want to lay in and go out for breakfast later?”

Hajime would brush away the hair covering his eyes as a sleepy, disgruntled Oikawa would open his eyes, giving him the laziest yet the most beautiful smile. Hajime doesn’t find it fair that Oikawa could look this ethereal in the morning. But it’s a sight only for him to behold and he willingly devours that chance.

“Mhm-mm, Iwachan let’s just skip breakfast and go back to sleep. You can make lunch later. I’ll help.”

Hajima would laugh. Help always means Tooru spending one hour on choosing the silverware and wiping the already cleaned plates and crockery twice. Hajime would never allow him near the stove.

“Okay”, a raspy voice would come from between the sheets.

Oikawa would scoot closer, tangling his legs with his, nuzzling into Hajime’s chest. 

xiii. _Masterpiece_

Tooru sat out during the second half of the game today. He had been working on his flaw, trying not to get too sucked into the game. But he falters at times and today was one of them.

He lies on top of Hajime, his face hidden but Hajime can feel the wetness from his cheeks soak into his shirt.

A soft song plays in the background. Hajime hopes it says enough. 

“ _ You are an artist _

_ And your heart is your masterpiece _

_ And I'll keep it safe” _

Oikawa clutches his sweatshirt. He acknowledges and he knows.

_ Don't be, don't be afraid _

_ God knows that mistakes will be made _

_ But I promise you I'll keep you safe _

xiv. _Nostalgia_

Oikawa keeps a picture of him, Hajime, Issei and Hanamaki as his lock screen. It has been that for seven years now. His home screen is always different pictures of Hajime but the lock screen stays.

“ We should drive down to Miyagi and surprise them.”

Hajime agrees, his hands ruffling Oikawa’s hair.

Tooru likes keeping things, people, relationships and memories alive.

He says that the past always lives on in traces and in passing conversations as it should.

xv. _Oceans_

Tooru once met Hinata in Brazil and rediscovered that volleyball could be fun.

He had called up Hajime, all excited and panting, gushing over how beach volleyball was tough and how even Hajime would lose terribly. Hajime remembers it distinctly. Somebody was yelling in Portuguese in the background, he could hear Hinata speak excitedly with someone, there was the sound of waves crashing into the shore and then there was Oikawa’s voice. 

It sounded exactly like the time Oikawa won the best setter award. No facade, genuine happiness laced through each word.

_ Tooru, I hope you sound like this every time now. _

_ Bless shoyo-kun. _

He called up again four hours later, three am in the morning because he made another discovery.

“Hajime, the ocean. If I stand on a beach in Argentina, I would be looking towards your direction right?? California has beaches right?”

Hajime had laughed, absolutely wondering how Oikawa must be looking right now.

“Shittykawa, It’s the Pacific Ocean this side, not the Atlantic.”

“Oh”, he sounded crushed for a split second before speaking again, “it doesn’t matter. You have my heart with you there anyway.”

“Corny”, Hajime grumbled, but he was glad the room was dark because he felt the heat spreading in his body.

_ He still sounded like he did a few hours ago, the genuine happy sound unmasked and raw. _

Hajime realized how he had been subconsciously praying that he would sound the same when he talks about him.

He can feel his face reddening.

“Iwachan, don’t blush.”

xvi. _Protege_

“He knew that setter dump was coming!!”

Oikawa yells at the TV exasperated and throws a pillow at it, fuming and huffing. Iwaizumi doesn’t have to ask the name of the person to whom his anger is directed at.

Schewiden Adlers is playing against DESEO hornets and Tooru hasn’t left the couch since the match started, surrounding himself with pillows to chuck whenever Kageyama makes a mistake.

Hajime knows Oikawa would rather die before admitting he watches Tobio’s matches without fail. 

“I thought you didn’t care? You even told Shoyo that you don’t watch his matches”, Hajime accuses him playfully,flicking his forehead before sinking into the couch.

Oikawa immediately snuggles in, putting Hajime’s right arm around himself, eyes still glued to the screen.

Iwaizumi looks at him and chuckles, before resting his chin on Tooru’s head.

“So much for your dramatics”

“Iwachan, who will look out for him when he acts stupid sometimes? That Ushijima-”, he quickly flips his head towards Iwaizumi in a little warning lest he tries to defend Ushijima and then continues after ensuring Hajime keeps shut,“ -is also miserable at communication sometimes.”

A snigger escapes from Hajime’s mouth.

_ Ah, that photo. _

“Look out??? Are you texting Kageyama?”

Hajime sits up, pleasantly surprised yet bewildered.

Tooru shifts uncomfortably, hiding his face sans his eyes into the folds of Hajime’s sweatshirt sleeves.

“I can’t deny him help. That’s not nice, right?”

“Takeru would say otherwise. But I’m proud of you.”

Hajime smiles softly, planting a kiss on top of his head. He makes a mental note to corner Tobio later.

xvii. _Querencia_

“Come here”, Oikawa whispers, stretching out his arms as Hajime lets himself breakdown, clutching on to the taller man. Tooru's scent engulfs him, calming him down as he feels broad arms wrap him up.

With him, whenever he is here, it is always a warm shade of orange. 

xviii. _Reservation_

Hajime always wondered what it is to give himself wholly and truly to someone.

He feared that he would lose himself and he saved this fear for the darkest, loneliest nights. The idea of what he was when happiness and pain was only his and the whole concept of having to share someone's pain and happiness.

This was until he realized what it is to love and be loved. To understand that he too would hold Oikawa’s whole being in his palms.

He didn’t realize his reservation had long been chipped away ever since the day he saw the brown eyes and felt another feeling that made him scared yet exhilarated.

One that made him feel as if he could soar and stay among the clouds. He felt like he could put the Polaris to shame.

xix. _Semantics_

They had to stop midway during their Disneyland adventure because a guy wanted to propose to his girlfriend.

Tooru watches them with the greatest amount of interest, slurping his smoothie before turning to Hajime with the most intense look in his eyes.

The sunlight makes his eyes look even intense, almost piercing through Hajime’s skin, staring right into his rawest being.

“He said that he likes her”, he whisper-yells, gripping his smoothie a little too tightly.

Hajime doesn’t understand so he looks at his boyfriend indicating him to continue, moving a little back as Oikawa determinedly closed the space between them in two strides.

“Hajime, the semantics between I like you and I love you”, he steps closer, his lips a mere inch away, “ please don’t ever make me feel the chasm that exists between them.”

It’s more of a statement, less of a plea.

Hajime doesn’t say anything. 

Tooru would never have to worry about it anyway.

xx. _Talisman_

Hajime sleeps with the gorilla plushie Oikawa sent from Argentina. Californian nights used to get lonely and Tokyo sometimes feels empty without him but somehow the giant plushie, which got him weird inquisitive looks from the delivery guy, kept and still keeps him warm. It's a shade of olive green and has a tag with the name Tooru stitched on it. Hajime always wonders how he managed to get that done but he doesn't complain.

_ A piece of you wherever I am. _

xxi. _Unwind_

It’s almost a natural instinct for Hajime to gently press Tooru’s right knee whenever they lie down on the couch at the end of the day. He traces circles, softly pressing the pressure points, his touch sometimes light as a feather.

Often he catches Tooru looking at him with a feeling he can’t really name. But it makes his heart tighten in a breathless way, almost shying away from the intensity. 

He is sure he looks the same way whenever he lays his head on Oikawa’s lap and the brunette would instantaneously move his fingers deftly massaging his temples. Oikawa would continuously pepper his forehead with soft, quick kisses. 

This keeps him going through the day. The thought of going back to the arms of the tall brunette at the end of the day, no matter how shitty it went. They are always running out of time but whenever Oikawa comes home, Hajime feels himself unwind wholly.

xxii. _Voluminous_

Hajime has spent roughly twenty six thousand hours asleep next to Tooru.

It does not include the sleepovers of their teenage days and the nights they spent, on different beds, in different cities, different continents. 

It definitely does not include the nights he stayed up watching Tooru through a 360p quality phone screen as his chest fell and rose with every breath, having dozed off in the middle of the call.

xxiii. _Woo_

On their first valentine's day, Oikawa was playing overseas.

Hajime doesn’t believe in the concept of singling a day out as Valentine’s day to celebrate love but the atmosphere everywhere he went made him feel different.

The roses being sold on the streets, squeals from random strangers, colleagues taking a day off to spend time at home.

It made him miss Tooru more than ever.

Hajime sighed, searching his pocket for the keys, his mind far across the ocean in a foreign country.

“Mr. Iwaizumi?”

He turned around, a voice interrupting his silent cribbing.

The delivery guy stood there with an envelope and a bouquet of pink and red camellias.

“Is this for me?”,Hajime looks at the flowers in bewilderment.

_ It can’t be from him. _

The guy nods thrusting the flowers and the envelope into his hands along with a notebook to sign on.

“We were instructed to deliver these to you today specifically.”

Words remain stuck in his throat as he signs and shuts the door behind him, flopping down on the floor.

He feels like a sixteen-year-old boy receiving a confession, all giddy and trembling with excitement as he opens the envelope. Internally he chides himself for his childish behaviour but it makes him feel elated.

_ Iwa chan, I know you don’t believe in the concept of this day but I wanted to do all the things that other couples do. For once, I wanted to miss a match and stay at home but I knew you would have kicked me out anyway. So I decided to at least let you know how much you mean to me even when I am not there.  _

_ I know I am cute,don't cry. _

_ I went to buy flowers and I first thought of roses but the old lady in the shop said pink and red camellias mean longing and desire. What could be more befitting for my feelings towards you Hajime? I miss you every waking moment when I’m away from you and Japan has never felt so far away and I realized that I hate timezones and miles even more than Shiratorizawa. _

_ Anyway by the time you get this, it won’t be long before I come home. So wait for me a little longer.  _

_ I love you Hajime. _

Hajime can barely form his words when Oikawa picks up the phone on the first ring.

“I love you too.”

He looks outside through the window at the clear blue sky hoping Tooru is looking up too, from somewhere in Buenos Aires.

He is here, right here with me.

xxiv. _Xen_

Seijoh gatherings always involve someone having to keep Oikawa outside the living room when the movie is being chosen.

“If we have to watch one more alien documentary, Hajime, we will have to tie up your boyfriend”, Issei mutters looking at the direction of the door which is currently almost being broken down by Tooru.

“Kinky” , Hanamaki sniggers before pushing Yahaba aside to occupy more space on the sofa.

Hajime gives Issei a sharp whack on the back before walking outside to hold Oikawa down.

“Et tu, Iwachan?”

xxv. _You_

It was always meant to be Oikawa from the start.

From the very moment when he came running into Hajime’s room at 11 pm crying because he was being taken to the dentist in the morning. He had crawled into Hajime’s bed, his tiny 6-year-old frame, shuddering in fear, hiding inside Hajime’s oversized sweater.

“Iwachan, please come with me tomorrow.”

It was always meant to be him and Iwaizumi getting his tooth pulled out the next day, despite his insane fear of the dentist was the first sign. 

Hajime remembers a tiny Tooru jumping on him after the extraction, his eyes filled with tears but he had the brightest smile.

“Look, both of us are toothless!”

xxvi. _Zenith_

“Do you think I will be good with kids?”

Oikawa is leaning on the window sill, sipping his horrendous expresso, his joggers hanging low on his hips. Hajime walks towards him, drying his hair with the towel and shaking his head vigorously. Tooru was here for a while and Hajime had never felt so happy before.

He sees Tooru eye the towel around his waist and sighs before flicking his forehead.

“OUCH!”

“Behave Trashykawa!”

He sees a pout forming and chuckles before kissing it away, grabbing his waist and pulling him closer.

“You didn’t answer my question”, a half-hearted accusation darts out as Oikawa dexterously slides his finger down Hajime’s chest only to be stopped short by Iwaizumi holding his hand and intertwining his fingers.

He leans in closer, resting his forehead on Tooru’s, having to tiptoe a little.

“You would be amazing, except I can’t rule out the idea of stupidity and recklessness passing on.”

Tooru huffs and kicks him slightly in the shin making Hajime chortle.

This is not their zenith yet and Hajime wishes they keep on going ahead for a long time before reaching their zenith. Every day he finds a new reason to love Tooru, a labyrinth that he would willingly get lost in if he gets to have Tooru by his side.

_Love him less but love him long_ , except Hajime doesn't plan on loving him less ever.

There is still so much love in him, so much to love about Tooru.

_ For a long, long time. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic heavily inspired by David's A lover's Dictionary and also the idea of writing a fic based on a ship came from chapcgne's work ," Kambe Daisuke's Glossary to Katou Haru.
> 
> P. S my new work is out and its been my favourite one so far so please do give "Chasing stars"  
> a read. Thanks.you can find me @lovingoikawa_


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